The Guide

The Executor’s Guide

Five plain-language chapters, written for tired eyes and heavy weeks. Read in order, or jump to the part you need.

General information, not legal advice. For complex estates, talk to a local probate attorney.
Chapter 15 min read

The First 48 Hours: Securing, Breathing, and Getting Started

Someone you loved has just died, and somehow the world still expects you to know what to do. You don't have to know. You just have to do a few simple things, in roughly this order. Everything else can wait.

Take a breath. You were named executor because this person trusted you. Not because you were ready, or qualified, or had time. Because they trusted you. That trust is the whole job description. The paperwork is just details.

Hour 0–12: Take care of people and the body

Get someone to sit with you. Call a trusted family member or friend to be your second set of hands for the next few days. Grief fries your memory and judgment, and you'll make better decisions with someone calm beside you.

If the death happened at home: Call 911 (or the non-emergency line if the person was under hospice care and the hospice nurse told you this is expected). Do not move or clean anything until authorities arrive. If hospice was involved, call the hospice nurse first, they'll guide you.

If the death happened in a hospital or facility: The staff will handle the body and will ask you about a funeral home. It's okay to say "I need a few hours." You are not obligated to choose one on the spot.

Contact a funeral home or mortuary. If your loved one pre-planned arrangements, the paperwork will name one. If not, choose one nearby with decent reviews, you can always change your mind. The funeral director becomes your first professional ally; ask them everything. That's what they're for.

Call the closest family. Short, factual calls or texts: what happened, where they are, what you know, and "I'll update you as things get clearer." You do not owe anyone a full story in the first hours. Protect yourself from well-meaning people who demand instant answers.

Hour 12–24: Secure the home and what matters

Lock down the home. If your loved one lived alone:

  • Lock all doors and windows. Change is not needed yet, just make sure it's locked.
  • If you know where a spare key is, consider temporarily holding onto it, or at least knowing who has copies.
  • Pick up the mail or ask a neighbor to (mail piling up signals an empty house).
  • Set any timers or lights the person normally used.
  • Turn down the thermostat or water heater if it will be a while before anyone's there regularly. Do not drain pipes or do anything drastic yet.

Find and safeguard valuables. Walk through the home once, calmly, and note or collect: cash, jewelry, checkbooks, credit cards, keys to safe deposit boxes, important papers, medications, firearms. You are not distributing anything, you are protecting it. Put loose valuables in one safe place (a locked drawer, a safe, or take them with you). Note: some states have specific rules about removing items from the home before probate opens, if you're concerned, confirm with an attorney.

Forward the mail. File a USPS change of address (Form 3575, online at usps.com or at the post office) so their mail comes to you. This is one of the highest-value moves you can make early, bills, account statements, and insurance notices all reveal themselves through the mail.

Arrange care for pets. This gets forgotten in the shock. Make sure animals are fed and looked after, and plan for their care in the coming weeks.

Hour 24–48: Start the paper trail

Order death certificates. Through the funeral home, order 10–15 certified copies of the death certificate. This sounds like a lot. It is not too many. Banks, brokerages, insurers, the DMV, and the Social Security Administration will each want an original or certified copy, and some won't return them. They typically cost around $10–$30 each, depending on the state. Ordering extras now is far cheaper than reordering later.

Start a dedicated system. Buy a big folder, accordion file, or binder. Label it "[Name], Estate." Every document, receipt, business card, and scrap of paper related to the estate goes in here, starting today. Also start a simple log: date, what you did, who you talked to. This log protects you later if anyone questions your actions.

Find the will, but don't act on it yet. Look in the obvious places: filing cabinets, desk drawers, a safe, a safe deposit box (you may need the death certificate and ID to access it, depending on state law). If you find it, read it, and then put it back in a safe place. Do not distribute anything based on the will yet, probate court has to formally recognize it first.

Notify the employer (if your loved one was working), a brief, factual call or email to HR. Ask about: final paycheck, unused vacation payout, life insurance through work, retirement accounts (401(k), pension), and continuing health coverage options for dependents.

Do not, in the first 48 hours:

  • Do not pay off their debts or promise creditors anything. Debt payment follows a legal priority order later.
  • Do not close bank accounts. You'll need them to receive and pay out funds.
  • Do not throw anything away. That stack of junk mail might contain an account statement. Those "useless" papers might be insurance policies. When in doubt, keep it.
  • Do not distribute possessions or money. Even to family. Even if the will says so. Even if everyone agrees. Wait until probate opens or an attorney says it's safe.
  • Do not sign anything from a creditor, debt collector, or anyone pressuring you, without understanding it.
  • Do not post details on social media beyond a simple, respectful announcement (and only after immediate family knows). Scammers monitor obituaries.
Your next 3 actions
  1. Lock up the home, pick up the mail, and make sure any pets are cared for.
  2. Order 10–15 certified death certificates through the funeral home.
  3. Buy a folder, label it with their name, and put every estate document in it starting now.
Chapter 25 min read

The First Two Weeks: Funerals, Wills, and First Notifications

The first two weeks are the busiest stretch of the whole process. The funeral will happen, the will needs to surface, and the first wave of institutions needs to hear the news. Pace yourself, do one thing at a time, and let your helper person (find one if you haven't) carry half the load.

Arranging the funeral or memorial

The funeral director handles most logistics: transporting the body, preparing it, scheduling the service, filing the death certificate paperwork, and often placing the obituary. You make the decisions:

  • Burial or cremation? Check for pre-planned arrangements or a prepaid plan first, it may already be paid for. If your loved one expressed wishes verbally, honor them, but don't bankrupt the estate (or yourself) over them. A simple service is never disrespectful.
  • Get an itemized price list. Funeral homes are required by federal law (the FTC Funeral Rule) to give you an itemized price list when you ask. Compare before you commit. There is no relationship between how much you spend and how much you loved them.
  • Keep every receipt. Funeral expenses are typically the first legitimate debt paid from the estate, and they're deductible on the federal estate tax return (if one is filed), though not on income tax. Track them from day one.
  • Veterans: If your loved one served, they may be entitled to burial benefits, a burial flag, headstone, and burial in a national cemetery, at no cost. Ask the funeral director about VA benefits, or call the VA directly. (See the VA benefits notification letter template →.)

About the obituary: Keep it modest. Scammers comb obituaries for details, full birth date, mother's maiden name, address, names of family members. A simple obituary with a service date is enough. Consider leaving out the exact home address.

Locating the will (and what if there isn't one)

By now, search in earnest:

  • Home: desk, filing cabinet, safe, bookshelves, "the drawer with everything."
  • Safe deposit box: bring the death certificate and your ID. Many states let you open the box solely to look for a will, ask the bank about your state's procedure.
  • Their attorney's office, check address books, old correspondence, or email for a lawyer's name.
  • A trusted friend or family member who may hold a copy.
  • Some states have will registries, or the will may be filed with the county court (availability varies by state).

If you find it: Read it. Note who is named executor (hopefully you), who the beneficiaries are, and any specific bequests. Then store it somewhere safe. Do not write on it, staple it, or remove staples, courts are particular about the physical condition of the original will.

If there is no will: The estate is "intestate," and state law decides who inherits. This is extremely common, don't panic. Your state has a default order (usually spouse, then children, then parents, then siblings). The probate court will appoint an administrator (likely you, since you were the trusted person). The process is a bit more work, but it's routine. An attorney is especially worth it here.

The first wave of notifications

You don't need to notify everyone at once. Prioritize in this order:

  1. Social Security Administration (SSA): Call 1-800-772-1213 or visit a local office. Survivor benefits may be available to a spouse or dependents, and a one-time death benefit (currently $255) may be payable. Report the death promptly, if monthly benefits keep arriving after death, the SSA will claw them back, and that's a mess you don't want. The funeral home often reports the death to SSA, but verify it happened.
  2. The employer / HR: If not done in the first 48 hours, do it now. Ask specifically about: final paycheck, unused PTO payout, group life insurance, pension or 401(k) with named beneficiaries, and whether dependents can continue health coverage (COBRA or otherwise).
  3. Banks and credit unions: Notify them, but do NOT close accounts yet. Ask: is there a joint owner? A payable-on-death (POD) beneficiary? A safe deposit box? Jointly-owned accounts usually pass directly to the survivor; individual accounts will need probate. Get the account balances as of the date of death, you'll need these later.
  4. Pension administrators and the VA: If your loved one received a pension or VA benefits, notify them to stop payments and ask about survivor benefits.
  5. Insurance agents: Life insurance, health insurance, homeowners/auto insurance, long-term care. Life insurance with a named beneficiary pays out directly to that person, it typically bypasses probate entirely. Call the agent, file the claim, and send a death certificate when asked.
  6. The mortgage servicer or landlord: A quick factual notice. You are not assuming the debt, you're informing them and asking what the process is going forward. Keep making payments if the estate can, to avoid foreclosure or eviction proceedings on the property.

What to tell people

You will repeat the same information dozens of times. Write a one-paragraph script and reuse it:

"I'm calling to report the death of [Full Name], date of birth [DOB], Social Security number [SSN], on [date]. I am the named executor of the estate. Please tell me what documentation you need from me and what the next steps are."

Have ready at all times: certified death certificates, your photo ID, and the will (or a copy) once located. Keep a log of every call: date, company, person you spoke with, what they said, reference numbers.

Protecting against identity theft

A deceased person's identity is prime material for fraud. In these first weeks:

  • Notify the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) of the death, see the letter template →. Request that the credit files be flagged "deceased, do not issue credit."
  • Watch the forwarded mail for unfamiliar accounts or bills.
  • Be skeptical of anyone who contacts you claiming your loved one owed them money. Debts get verified through a formal process later, not by phone calls now.
Your next 3 actions
  1. Confirm the will is found and stored safely, or accept there isn't one and plan to talk to a probate attorney.
  2. Notify Social Security and the employer/HR; ask about survivor benefits, final pay, and any work-based life insurance.
  3. Notify the three credit bureaus of the death to freeze the credit files.
Chapter 35 min read

The First Month: Inventory, Mail, Creditors, and Property

The funeral is behind you. The initial shock has dulled into something steadier, grief doesn't leave, but it gets quieter, and the practical work gets louder. This month is about one thing: finding out what exists. You cannot manage, protect, or distribute an estate until you know what's in it.

Building the inventory

Your core job as executor is to make a complete list of everything your loved one owned and owed. Start a spreadsheet or a notebook with two columns: Assets and Debts. Every entry gets: description, approximate value, account numbers, institution, and where the paperwork lives.

Where to look for assets:

  • The mail. That forwarded mail is now your best detective. Bank statements, brokerage statements, insurance premium notices, pension statements, property tax bills, dividend checks, all of it shows up in the mail.
  • Bank and brokerage accounts: Checking, savings, CDs, IRAs, 401(k)s, brokerage accounts. Ask each institution about beneficiaries (POD/TOD designations), accounts with named beneficiaries pass directly to those people, outside probate.
  • Real estate: The home, any land, timeshares, mineral rights. Check the county assessor/recorder for how the deed is titled, joint tenancy or community property with right of survivorship usually passes automatically to the co-owner, though the exact rules vary by state, so confirm with the county recorder or a local attorney if you're unsure.
  • Vehicles: Cars, trucks, boats, RVs. Titles show ownership and any liens.
  • Life insurance: Policies through work, private policies, veterans' policies. The named beneficiary receives the payout directly.
  • Business interests: Ownership stakes, partnerships, sole proprietorships.
  • Personal property: Jewelry, art, collectibles, firearms, tools, furniture. Photograph anything of real value. You don't need to appraise the couch, focus on items plausibly worth real money.
  • Digital assets: See the Digital Assets premium module →, online accounts, crypto, domain names, monetized content, and digital files can have real value.
  • Safe deposit boxes: Inventory the contents with a witness present, and write down everything you find.

Debts to list: Mortgage(s), car loans, credit cards, medical bills, personal loans, student loans (federal student loans are discharged at death; private loans vary by lender), back taxes, and any money owed to family or friends.

Get date-of-death values. For financial accounts, request a statement or valuation as of the date of death, you'll need these for taxes and probate. (See the date-of-death valuation letter template →.) For real estate, a broker's opinion or formal appraisal dated near the death works. For significant personal property, consider a professional appraisal.

Managing the mail

By now the forwarding should be flowing. Set up a simple routine, once or twice a week, open everything:

  • Bills: Sort into "estate must pay to keep things running" (mortgage, insurance, utilities, property taxes) and "everything else" (credit cards, medical bills, personal loans, these wait for the formal claims process).
  • Statements: File by institution. These build your inventory.
  • Checks made out to your loved one: Do not cash them yet. You'll deposit them into an estate account once probate opens. Endorse nothing personally.
  • Junk and solicitations: Recycle freely. But glance first, "junk" from an unfamiliar financial company might be an account notice.

Consider registering your loved one with the Direct Marketing Association's free Deceased Do Not Contact list (register online at dmachoice.org) to reduce junk mail over time, mailings from participating companies typically taper off within about three months.

Notifying creditors (the formal part)

You do not pay every bill that arrives. In most states, probate includes a formal creditor-notification process:

  1. Once probate opens, the court typically requires you to publish a notice to creditors in a local newspaper. Creditors then have a set window (typically 3–6 months, though the exact window varies by state) to file formal claims.
  2. You may also send direct written notice to creditors you know about.
  3. Claims get reviewed: legitimate, properly documented debts get paid in a legal priority order (see the Months 2–3 chapter). Bogus or undocumented claims get rejected.

Until that process runs: keep essential payments current (mortgage, insurance, utilities on property the estate owns, letting a house go uninsured or into foreclosure hurts everyone). Everything else can wait for the claims process. If a collector calls demanding immediate payment, you are allowed to say: "The estate is in probate. Please submit your claim in writing to [address]." Then hang up politely.

Securing property and valuables

  • The home: If it's sitting empty, visit regularly or have someone check it. Keep homeowner's insurance current, and tell the insurer the home is vacant or unoccupied, because standard policies often limit or exclude coverage for vacant homes (check your policy's terms, as they vary). Consider a vacant-dwelling endorsement.
  • Vehicles: Keep insurance current until they're sold or transferred. Don't let anyone "borrow" the car indefinitely.
  • Valuables: Anything portable and valuable, jewelry, firearms, collectibles, important documents, should be in a safe, a safe deposit box, or with you. Document where everything is.
  • Change the locks? If your loved one lived alone and many people had keys (caregivers, neighbors, ex-partners), changing the locks is reasonable and often wise. Keep a log of who has keys.

Dealing with the stuff

Nobody is ready for this part, and there's no deadline forcing it. Practical notes:

  • Don't rush a cleanout. Grief makes you throw away things you'll mourn later, or cling to things that will burden you. If the house must be emptied on a timeline (lease ending, sale planned), box the personal/ambiguous items for later decisions and deal with the obvious first.
  • Separate into categories: clearly trash/recycle, donate, family keepsakes (ask family what matters to them before you dispose of it), sell (valuable items), and undecided (box and store).
  • Photograph rooms before you touch them. It helps with inventory, insurance, and family disagreements later.
  • Family disagreements about "stuff" are the #1 source of executor misery. When in doubt, slow down and communicate. A short group message, "I'm starting to sort the house this month; tell me this week if there are specific items that matter to you", prevents most explosions.
Your next 3 actions
  1. Start the asset/debt inventory spreadsheet, aim for completeness over precision; you'll refine it.
  2. Tell the homeowner's insurer the property's occupancy status and keep the policy current.
  3. Set a twice-weekly mail routine: essential bills get paid, statements get filed, everything else waits for the formal creditor process.
Chapter 46 min read

Months 2–3: Probate Basics, Attorneys, and Paying Debts

By now you've found the will (or accepted there isn't one), built a working inventory, and the mail routine is humming. This is the phase where the legal machinery starts turning. It sounds intimidating. It's mostly paperwork and patience.

Probate: what it actually is

Probate is the court-supervised process of proving the will is valid, appointing you as executor, paying debts, and distributing what's left. That's it. It's not a trial. Nobody argues (usually). It's an administrative process with forms and filing fees.

When you probably NEED probate:

  • Your loved one owned real estate solely in their name.
  • They had bank, brokerage, or other financial accounts solely in their name with no beneficiary designation, above your state's "small estate" threshold.
  • Someone (a bank, a title company, a buyer) is asking for "letters testamentary", the court document proving you're the executor.

When you might NOT need probate (or need only a simplified version):

  • Everything passed automatically: Joint accounts with right of survivorship, accounts with named beneficiaries (POD/TOD), life insurance with beneficiaries, property held in joint tenancy, these all transfer outside probate.
  • Small estate: Every state has a simplified process (often called "small estate affidavit" or "summary administration") for estates under a dollar threshold. Thresholds vary wildly by state, from around $10,000 to over $100,000, so check your specific state's current threshold, and some states exclude real estate from the simplified process.
  • Living trust: If your loved one had a properly funded revocable living trust, assets in the trust skip probate. (You may still need probate for assets left out of the trust.)

How to start probate: File a petition with the probate court in the county where your loved one lived. You'll typically need: the original will, a certified death certificate, a list of heirs/beneficiaries, and the filing fee (typically a few hundred dollars, though it varies by county and state). The court issues "letters testamentary" (or "letters of administration" if there's no will), your official credential. Banks and institutions will ask for these; keep certified copies.

How long does it take? A simple, uncontested probate often takes 6–12 months, largely because of the creditor claim window. Complex or contested estates can take years. Most of that time is waiting, not working.

Working with an attorney

Do you need one? Honest answer: for a simple estate where everything is clear, beneficiaries agree, and your state allows it, many executors handle probate without a lawyer. Consider hiring one if:

  • There's no will.
  • The estate includes a business, significant real estate, or out-of-state property.
  • Family members are fighting (or you smell a fight coming).
  • Debts might exceed assets.
  • There are minor children as beneficiaries.
  • Anything about taxes looks complicated (see the Months 4–12 chapter).
  • You just feel out of your depth. That is a completely valid reason.

What it costs: Structures vary by state. Some states set statutory fees (often a percentage of the estate). Others are hourly ($200–$500/hr is common in many markets, though rates vary widely by location). Some attorneys offer flat fees for simple probates. Always ask upfront: how do you bill, what's the estimate, and what would make it cost more? Get it in writing. Attorney fees are paid from the estate, not from your pocket, but they reduce what beneficiaries receive, so spend wisely.

How to choose one: Look for an attorney who does probate/estate work regularly, not a generalist, not your divorce lawyer. Your state's bar association has a referral service. Ask: "How many probates have you handled in this county?" Local experience matters because probate is county-level and judges have preferences.

Your relationship with the attorney: They advise; you decide. Ask them to explain anything you don't understand, that's what you're paying for. Keep your own copies of everything filed.

Paying debts in priority order

Not all debts are equal. The law sets an order, and you must follow it. Paying the wrong creditor first can make you personally liable for the shortfall (the details vary by state, but the principle is widespread). Typical priority (your state may vary slightly):

  1. Secured debts, mortgages, car loans. The collateral secures them; keep paying to protect the asset, or sell the asset to satisfy the loan.
  2. Funeral and burial expenses, usually given high priority by statute.
  3. Probate administration costs, court fees, attorney fees, your executor expenses.
  4. Federal taxes owed, the IRS jumps the line ahead of almost everyone.
  5. Medical expenses from the final illness.
  6. Unsecured debts, credit cards, personal loans, most other bills, paid last, and only if money remains.

Critical rules:

  • Do not pay unsecured debts until the creditor claim period closes and you've verified each claim is legitimate and properly filed.
  • If debts exceed assets, the estate is insolvent. You do NOT pay the shortfall from your own money. Creditors get paid in priority order until the money runs out; the rest goes unpaid. Beneficiaries get nothing. This is normal and legal, consult an attorney before paying anything in an insolvent estate.
  • You are not personally responsible for their debts (unless you co-signed or were a joint account holder, check carefully).
  • Reject bogus claims. Collectors sometimes pursue debts that are time-barred, already paid, or not actually owed. Every claim should come with documentation. When in doubt, ask your attorney.

Managing estate money

Once you have letters testamentary, open an estate bank account. Most banks will require an EIN from the IRS (free, takes minutes online at irs.gov) rather than the decedent's Social Security number. All estate money flows through this account:

  • Deposit: final paychecks, insurance payouts payable to the estate, sale proceeds, refund checks.
  • Pay from it: funeral bills, debts in priority order, taxes, your documented executor expenses (mileage, postage, filing fees, keep receipts; you're entitled to reimbursement).
  • Never mix estate money with your personal money. This is the fastest way to get accused of misconduct, even innocently.

Dealing with family conflict

It happens in the best families. Money and grief are a volatile mix. Some executor survival tactics:

  • Communicate proactively. A short monthly update to beneficiaries ("here's where things stand, here's the timeline") prevents 90% of suspicion. Silence breeds conspiracy theories.
  • Be transparent about money. Share the inventory. Show receipts. Secrecy, even innocent disorganization, looks like theft to a grieving sibling.
  • Don't take sides in old family wars. You are a neutral administrator now, even with people you have history with.
  • Put it in writing. Verbal promises about who gets what cause fights. If the will is ambiguous, get the attorney's read before acting.
  • If someone threatens legal action, stop discussing it with them directly and route everything through your attorney. Do not let yourself be bullied into early distributions.
Your next 3 actions
  1. Decide whether you need probate, a simplified process, or nothing, and if there's any complexity at all, get a probate attorney consultation.
  2. Open the estate bank account (get the EIN first) and start routing all estate money through it.
  3. Send your first brief status update to the beneficiaries, transparency now prevents conflict later.
Chapter 55 min read

Months 4–12: Taxes, Distributions, and Closing the Estate

You're in the long middle now. The urgent work is done; what remains is methodical. This phase has three jobs: handle taxes, distribute what's left, and close everything out cleanly. Do them in that order, distributing assets before taxes and debts are settled is the classic executor mistake.

Taxes: the two returns you need to know

1. The final personal income tax return. Your loved one still owes a tax return for the year they died, covering January 1 through the date of death. It's a normal Form 1040, marked as the final return (write "Deceased," the decedent's name, and the date of death across the top). It's due the following April 15, like any return. If they were due a refund, it comes to the estate.

2. The estate/fiduciary income tax return (Form 1041). If the estate itself earns income after death, bank interest, dividends, rental income, gains from selling property, and that income exceeds $600 in a year, the estate files its own return. The estate gets its own tax year, which you can choose. This is where date-of-death valuations matter: assets generally get a "stepped-up" cost basis to their fair market value at death, which often reduces or eliminates capital gains tax when you sell them (there are exceptions, for instance, certain trust-held property, so confirm with your CPA).

3. The estate tax return (Form 706), probably not you. Federal estate tax only applies to very large estates, the exemption is $15 million per person for 2026 (it adjusts for inflation going forward, so check the current figure for the year of death). Some states have their own estate or inheritance tax with much lower thresholds, roughly a dozen states plus DC have one, so check yours. If the estate is anywhere near a threshold, get a CPA or tax attorney involved early.

Practical tax moves:

  • Hire a CPA for at least the first year if the estate has any complexity, investment accounts, rental property, a business. Their fee comes from the estate.
  • Keep every tax document that arrives in the mail (1099s, W-2s, K-1s). The IRS doesn't know someone died; forms keep coming.
  • State income tax: most states also require a final state return. Don't forget it.

Selling property

Real estate and vehicles usually need to be sold (unless a beneficiary is inheriting them directly):

  • You generally need court authority to sell estate real estate, check what your letters testamentary allow and whether the court requires approval for the sale (this varies by state and by the will's terms).
  • Get the property appraised or get a broker price opinion near the time of sale.
  • Keep paying insurance, taxes, and utilities until the sale closes.
  • For vehicles: the title transfer process at the DMV varies by state, bring letters testamentary and the death certificate (see the DMV letter template →).
  • Document everything about the sale, price, costs, net proceeds, for the final accounting.

Distributing assets

Wait until: the creditor claim period has closed, all valid debts are paid or provided for, and taxes are handled or reserved for. Distributing early and then discovering a tax bill means trying to claw money back from family members. Nobody wants that conversation.

How distribution works:

  • Specific bequests first: "My guitar to my nephew", deliver the actual item, and get a signed receipt.
  • Then the residue: whatever's left, divided per the will (or per state intestacy law if there's no will).
  • Get signed receipts from every beneficiary for everything they receive. This is your proof and your protection.
  • For minor beneficiaries: you generally can't just hand a child a check. Funds typically go into a custodial account (UTMA/UGMA) or a court-supervised arrangement until they reach adulthood (the details vary by state). Ask your attorney.
  • If a beneficiary has died or can't be found, the will (or state law) usually has a fallback. Document your efforts to locate missing beneficiaries.

The final accounting: Prepare a clear summary, money in, money out, what's left, who got what. In many states you file this with the court; even where it's not required, give a copy to every beneficiary. Transparency is your shield.

Getting paid as executor

Yes, you can be paid. Most states provide for "reasonable compensation," and some set specific fee schedules (often a percentage of the estate, check your state's rules). The will itself may specify a fee. Practical notes:

  • Track your hours from the beginning, even a simple log helps justify the fee.
  • Executor fees are generally taxable income to you.
  • In small estates or close families, many executors waive the fee. That's a personal call, not an obligation.
  • If beneficiaries might object to your fee, discuss it openly before taking it.

Closing the estate

The finish line looks like this:

  1. All debts, taxes, and expenses paid (or reserved with a clear plan).
  2. All assets distributed with signed receipts.
  3. Final accounting prepared and shared (and filed with the court if required).
  4. Petition the court to close the estate and discharge you as executor, this is your formal release from liability.
  5. Close the estate bank account.
  6. Keep all estate records for at least 3–7 years (7 years is the cautious standard), tax authorities and unhappy beneficiaries have long memories.

After closing: Shred or securely archive sensitive documents eventually, but keep the final accounting, tax returns, and court discharge papers permanently. They're short.

Taking care of yourself

By month 6 or 9, the world assumes you're "over it." You're probably not. Executor work keeps grief on a low simmer for a year or more, every envelope is a reminder. That's normal. If you're struggling, that's normal too, and talking to someone (a counselor, a grief group, a friend who gets it) is not weakness, it's maintenance. You carried a heavy, thankless job because someone trusted you. Be as kind to yourself as you've been dutiful to them.

Your next 3 actions
  1. Confirm which tax returns are needed (final 1040, possibly 1041, check state estate tax) and engage a CPA if there's any complexity.
  2. Do not distribute anything until debts, the claim period, and taxes are resolved, then distribute with signed receipts for everything.
  3. Prepare the final accounting and petition the court to close the estate and formally discharge you.
Reference

Questions, answered honestly

Twenty-five straight answers to the questions every executor asks, usually at midnight.

Disclaimer: This guide provides general information about settling an estate in the United States. It is not legal advice, and it is not a substitute for an attorney. Every state has different probate laws, deadlines, and procedures, and every estate is different. If your situation involves significant assets, real estate in multiple states, a business, family disputes, possible insolvency, or anything you're unsure about, talk to a probate attorney in the decedent's state. A one-hour consultation is money well spent.

No. Being named in a will is a nomination, not a conscription. If you decline, the will usually names an alternate; if not, the court appoints someone. Decline in writing to the probate court, and do it early, once you start acting as executor (paying bills, collecting assets), courts may treat you as having accepted.

Not always, but often it's wise. You can likely handle a simple estate yourself if: there's a valid will, beneficiaries agree, debts are straightforward, and your state allows it. Strongly consider a lawyer if: there's no will, there's real estate, a business, out-of-state property, family conflict, possible insolvency, minor beneficiaries, or anything tax-complicated. Many probate attorneys offer a paid one-hour consultation, even if you DIY the rest, that hour can save you from expensive mistakes.

The estate is "intestate," and your state's law decides who inherits, usually the spouse first, then children, then parents, then siblings. The probate court appoints an administrator (often you). The process works fine; it's just more court-supervised than with a will. This is one of the situations where an attorney earns their fee.

A simple, uncontested probate typically takes 6–12 months, mostly because state law requires a creditor claim window (often 3–6 months) before debts can be finalized. Complex or contested estates can take years. Most of the time is waiting, not working, don't let the timeline scare you.

Yes. Most states allow "reasonable compensation," and some set specific fee schedules. The will may also specify a fee. Track your hours from day one. Executor fees are generally taxable income to you. In close families with small estates, many executors waive the fee, that's a personal choice, not an obligation. If beneficiaries might object, discuss the fee openly before taking it.

Communicate early and in writing. A short monthly update to beneficiaries prevents most suspicion, silence breeds conspiracy theories. Share the inventory, show receipts, and don't take sides in old family wars. If someone threatens legal action, stop discussing it with them and route everything through your attorney. Never distribute assets early to "keep the peace", it almost always backfires.

Then the estate is insolvent, and this is critical: you do not pay the shortfall from your own money. Creditors are paid in a legal priority order until the money runs out; the rest goes unpaid, and beneficiaries receive nothing. Do not pay anyone until you've talked to an attorney, paying the wrong creditor first in an insolvent estate can make you personally liable.

No, with two exceptions: debts you co-signed, and joint accounts where you were a co-borrower (not just an authorized user). Otherwise, creditors can only collect from the estate's assets, never from your pocket. Don't let a collector tell you otherwise.

Generally, if you distributed assets properly, after the claim period closed and valid debts were paid, beneficiaries are safe. If you distributed early and a legitimate creditor appears, the creditor may pursue the distributed assets. This is why you wait. It's also why you get signed receipts for everything.

It depends on the platform and whether your loved one set up legacy tools (Apple Digital Legacy, Google Inactive Account Manager, Facebook legacy contact). Without those, each platform has its own deceased-user process, slow and not guaranteed. Secure their phone and computer first (don't wipe anything), find their password manager, and see the digital assets module for platform-by-platform guidance. Photos not backed up anywhere may be unrecoverable, so act before closing accounts.

Crypto has no password reset and no customer service. If you find a seed phrase (12–24 words) or hardware wallet, that IS the money, secure it immediately like cash. Exchange accounts (Coinbase, etc.) have deceased-holder processes similar to banks. Document the date-of-death value for taxes. If you can't find it but suspect it existed, check devices for wallet apps and email for exchange statements before wiping anything.

You'll likely need a second, separate probate proceeding in that state (called "ancillary probate") to transfer the real estate. It's routine but adds cost and time. An attorney licensed in that state, or your probate attorney coordinating with one, handles it. This is firmly attorney territory.

Yes, at minimum, a final personal income tax return (Form 1040) for the year of death, covering January 1 through the date of death. If the estate earns more than $600 in income after death, it files its own return (Form 1041). Federal estate tax (Form 706) only applies to very large estates (multi-million-dollar exemption, $15M per person for 2026; check the current figure for the year of death); some states have their own estate or inheritance taxes with lower thresholds. When in doubt, hire a CPA for the first year.

After: the creditor claim period has closed, all valid debts are paid or reserved for, and taxes are handled or reserved for. Distributing early is the classic executor mistake, if a tax bill or creditor appears later, you're the one trying to claw money back from family. Specific bequests ("my guitar to my nephew") go first, then the remainder per the will. Get signed receipts for everything.

Document serious, good-faith efforts to locate them: certified mail to last known address, online searches, contacting known relatives. State law provides fallback rules (their share may go to their children, or be held by the court). Don't just divide their share among everyone else, ask your attorney how your state handles it.

No. Your job is to carry out the will as written, not to fix it. If you believe the will is invalid (forgery, coercion, lack of capacity), that's a matter for the court with evidence, not for you to decide unilaterally. Being executor doesn't give you editorial power over the decedent's wishes.

Slow down. Almost nothing in estate administration is genuinely urgent except: securing property, keeping insurance current, and meeting court/tax deadlines. "Act now or else" from a creditor or collector is a pressure tactic, legitimate claims go through the formal claims process. Tell them to submit it in writing. For family pressure, a calm "I'm following the legal process, and here's the timeline" works better than arguing.

Keep everything: the inventory, all receipts, bank statements, tax returns, correspondence, the final accounting, and signed beneficiary receipts. Keep estate records at least 3–7 years after closing (7 is the cautious standard); keep the final accounting, tax returns, and court discharge papers permanently. Your records are your protection if anyone ever questions your administration.

Distributing assets before debts and taxes are settled. Mixing estate money with personal money. Paying creditors out of priority order (or paying invalid claims). Throwing away paperwork too soon. Going silent with beneficiaries instead of communicating. Trying to handle a complex estate without professional help. And neglecting their own grief while doing all of it.

Right here, in this order: (1) Secure the home and valuables. (2) Order 10–15 death certificates. (3) Start one folder and one log for everything. Then work the checklists in this system phase by phase, first 48 hours, two weeks, one month, ongoing. You don't have to do it all today. You just have to do the next thing. And if at any point it feels like too much, a probate attorney consultation is the best money the estate can spend.

Usually yes, but some states add requirements for out-of-state executors, like appointing a local agent or posting a bond. Check the decedent's state rules early, because this affects your timeline. Many executors handle everything remotely except one or two in-person tasks.

Be human first and legal second. You have a duty to secure estate property, but evicting grieving people on day three helps no one and can create legal trouble. Document the arrangement in writing, set a reasonable move-out date, and keep paying the insurance and utilities in the meantime.

Death usually terminates a residential lease or gives the estate an early-exit right, but the exact rule varies by state and lease terms. Notify the landlord in writing right away, return the keys when the unit is cleared, and do not keep paying rent out of your own pocket while you figure it out.

Yes, for at least a few months. That number receives two-factor codes, account recovery texts, and calls from people who do not know yet. Port it to the cheapest plan available and check the voicemail weekly. It is one of the highest-value ten-dollar-a-month expenses in the whole process.

Pay the keep-the-lights-on bills: mortgage or rent, insurance, utilities, and anything securing property. For everything else, especially old debts and medical bills, slow down. Creditors must submit formal claims, and paying too early, or in the wrong order, is one of the classic executor mistakes the roadmap timeline is designed to prevent.

Premium module

Digital Assets: The Premium Module

Your loved one's digital life may be as valuable, financially and sentimentally, as their physical one. Photos, documents, cryptocurrency, monetized accounts, domain names, and loyalty points all count. This module walks through the major platforms and the law that governs them.

Inside this module

  • Start here: find the keys to the kingdom
  • Apple: Digital Legacy
  • Google: Inactive Account Manager
  • Facebook (Meta): memorialization
  • Password managers and email
  • Cryptocurrency
  • RUFADAA: your legal rights
  • Other accounts worth checking
  • Your next 3 actions
Note: Platform policies change frequently. If a step below doesn't match what you see on screen, check the platform's current help pages, the general approach still applies.

This module is part of the Premium tier, it walks through Apple Digital Legacy, Google Inactive Account Manager, Facebook memorialization, password managers, cryptocurrency, and your legal rights under RUFADAA.